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Woot! - One Day, One Deal (20 unread)

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Let’s Curdle - $10.00

Posted: March 10th, 2010, 7:00am CET

Milk, Milk, Lemonade
‘Round the corner, love is made
Some things just go together. Like whiskey and vermouth. Or peanut butter and jelly. Or peanut butter and chocolate. Or peanut butter and banana. Boy, peanut butter gets around, doesn’t it? It wasn’t until just now that we realized what a whore peanut butter is.

It’s nice to have a natural match. But equally nice—or maybe even nicer—is to find yourself in an unexpected hook-up that nonetheless works. Here’s to odd couples! To Murtaugh and Riggs! To jalapeño and chocolate! To Rachel and Finn! To Bono and U.S. Treasury Secretary Paul O’Neill!

Because what’s more delightful than an unlikely pair?

Just about nothing, that’s what.

Wear this shirt: after smelling it to make sure it hasn’t gone bad.

Don’t wear this shirt: unless it’s been properly refrigerated.

This shirt tells the world: “TEACH LACTOSE TOLERANCE”

We call this color: Royally Cute Royal Blue

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 10” x 9.63”
WXL - K4: 7.5” x 7.22”

Pantone Colors: White – 189C – 601C – 3945C – 7409C – 635C

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Discuss this product
Price: $10.00I want one!
Reckoning Recon 3/9/2010

Posted: March 9th, 2010, 7:00pm CET

Man, "In addition to your radishes, I will take this" got so much love in the forums (and in our office) we didn't think it'd go down like this. Think of the Children displaces It's a Trap! for the number one seed right out of the gate. The rest of the noobs are going to need a little more help. Could this be the sign of an extended run for our new numero uno shirt? Find out at our Reckoning page, or better yet: go ahead and influence the standings yourself by making a purchase.

And oh yeah, Nevermore is still hangin' tough.
Derby #136 (The New Vintage): Honorable Mentions

Posted: March 9th, 2010, 3:30pm CET

Reach inside our magic laundry dryer and pull out a shirt design from the past! Not the real past, though; an idealized, imaginary past, like Spartacus: Blood and Sand without the bare breasts. These Honorable Mentions for Derby #136: the New Vintage give us the feeling that somewhere, in an alternate universe, somebody's wondering where their favorite t-shirts disappeared to...

Fly!

by capedcrusader514

Oddly, he's not interested in dope or anything fresh.

Holy Guacamole!

by walmazan

Might have won if it was easier to stuff inside a recipe box.

I got mooned!

by jewelwing

Thank you for not illustrating the pun.

Mista Mista

by riffmaster18

How many copyrights can we almost infringe upon?

Disco is Dead

by dredgedarko

Now we want a disco skull for our office.

Tweets are for Birds

by jasneko

Said it with 120 characters to spare.

Vote Abe in 1860

by profbrendan

Millinery we can believe in.

use it or lose it

by kamz

Is this another one of those zombie things?

Rap Attack Version: POP!

by Beefcoat

Yo! Tyrannosaurus raps!

Vinyl Is Dead

by cmdixon2

The reports of its death were premature.

Congrats and props to the Honorable Mentioneers; see y'all again in the next Double-Take Derby. Meanwhile, back in our own timestream, the future is unfolding in the current Derby.
Van Diagram - $10.00

Posted: March 9th, 2010, 7:00am CET

Rockin’ = Not Knockin’
There’s a time in every person’s life when they must decide for themselves which way to go.
Will they choose the route of the child, forever wide-eyed and innocent? The child can never truly become cynical, after all, and meets each day with a magical joy. The child can travel in a box with ease, for a box is the transport of the imagination! With paint and with an airbrush, the child can dream up a world of wizards and dragons and mostly women fighting barbarians on the moon and then paint it on the blank canvas that the box signifies. The path of the child is one of dreams and glory!

Or will they choose the path of the adult? The adult needs a car to get from place to place, since time is of the essence. He needs the room to hold important papers, and a good sound system to keep track of the latest music, and maybe even a big backseat for naps and gettin’ lucky. The car is a sign that the adult can do as he pleases whenever he pleases, maybe even at full speed!

There are two paths and no more. Every person must decide for themselves what… what… what is that majestic creature over there? It’s doing 75, but has a painting of a naked unicorn on the side! I… I must have it! I must! Do you hear, world? There is a better way! There is a better way!

Wear this shirt: on Vanic Monday. Hey, stop groaning, it’s our I-don’t-have-to-run-day.

Don’t wear this shirt: backwards. It won’t be as funny if everyone thinks you’re just talking about boxcars.

This shirt tells the world: “You Probably Think This Shirt Is About You. Don’t You? Don’t You? Don’t You?”

We call this color: ‘Cause Like A Princess She Was Layin’ There/Moonlight Dancin’ Off Her Hair/She Woke Up And Took Me By The Hand/We Made Love In My Chevy Van/And That’s All White With Me

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 10.5” x 8.54”
WXL - K4: 7.5” x 6.1”

Pantone Colors: 211C – 513C – 185C – 660C – Black

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Discuss this product
Day of Reckoning the One Hundred and Thirty-Fourth

Posted: March 8th, 2010, 7:20pm CET

Forget some stuffy old Academy of Arts and Sciences; the real Oscars happen every week right here, at the Reckoning! Nevermore is closing in on a two year run on the chart; that's as good an equivalent to "Best Picture" as any, right? The Cthulhu meme might be eternal, but the shirt wasn't. Snag it today before it sinks back into the briny deep and gets permanently retired tonight at midnight! Ironically, Procrastinate and The Apathy Coalition put some effort in and rose up in the standings. Check out the shuffling and buy your favorite soon-to-be-gone-palindrome-shirt over at our Reckoning page!
I can haz chestburster? - $10.00

Posted: March 8th, 2010, 7:00am CET

Look guys, I know we’ve got a lot going on.
I’m just saying I haven’t been feeling very good either since that thing with Kane.
It’s just that I woke up the other day and Lambert’s cat was sleeping on my face. It really freaked me out, and I’ve had this terrible stomach ache ever since. Shut up! I am NOT a hypochondriac!

Okay, sure, I’m freaked out about that thing. I think we ALL are. But seriously guys, my stomach is in knots! I keep hearing this muffled purring sound, and- Hey is that a cheeseburger?

I can haz?

OH GOD NO! AAARAARARRARRRRRGGHGGHGOMGWTFROFLLULZ!

Wear this shirt: While responding to distress signals originating from nearby planetoids.

Don’t wear this shirt: If you recently woke to discover a dead facehugger lying on the ground nearby. You’re about to ruin your shirt.

This shirt tells the world: “This shirt plays on men’s fear of pregnancy and childbirth.”

We call this color: FaceHeather Gray

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 11.9” x 19”
WXL - WS: 8.93” x 14.25”
K12 - K4: 7.52” x 12”

Pantone Colors: White – 7535C – Warm Gray 10C – 368C – 032C – Black

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Discuss this product
Every Legend has a beginning… - $10.00

Posted: March 7th, 2010, 7:00am CET

Chapter Zero: The Litter
3rd place in Derby #136: The New Vintage, with 834 votes!
Don’t let anybody tell you cats can’t be trained. You just have to start early. I started these five kittens on the basics: using the litterbox, say, or exercising their claws on their scratching post instead of the sofa. Then we moved to advanced stuff like combining into one giant sword-wielding cat. Before too long, they were protecting the planet Arus from the evil King Zarkon. Anything’s possible once you understand the way cats learn.

Except making them stop spraying all over the drapes. Sorry about the smell in here.

Wear this shirt: in 1983.

Don’t wear this shirt: to any sort of anime fan gathering, unless you’re looking for hours of conversation about how the American series totally vulgarized the subtleties of the original Armored Fleet Dairugger XV.

This shirt tells the world: “From small things, big things may one day come. And mess you up bad.”

We call this color: Beast King Go Blue.

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 13” x 16.56”
WXL - K4: 9” x 11.46”

Pantone Colors: White – 101C – 554C – 180C – Black

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Discuss this product
Sliced Bread - $10.00

Posted: March 6th, 2010, 7:00am CET

The Earl Of Sandwich’s Knife
2nd place in Derby #136: The New Vintage, with 1124 votes!
The truth is that this “greatest thing” nonsense didn’t start right away. No, slicing bread went back to the very first moment someone had a loaf and a pair of dirty hands. The reality is that sliced bread isn’t the invention in question. It’s PRE-sliced bread that changed the world.

But even then, what was the big deal? It saved maybe… oh, fifteen seconds of Mom’s time when making lunches. BIG DEAL. For people who grew up in a world where knife fights were the primary form of entertainment, fifteen seconds with a knife wasn’t anything at all.

No, the big deal with “sliced bread” was that finally, FINALLY, there was a universal standard on which everyone could agree. No more “where I come from, this would be better than Grandmother’s pudding!” nonsense. What good what that do in a house where Grandmother made terrible pudding? No, the sliced of bread wasn’t the important thing. The important thing was that it finally made us all… Americans.

Until Ron Paul smuggled in those stupid English Muffins. WE HAD A SYSTEM, RON. IT WAS WORKING.

Wear this shirt: to the bakery! They’ll high five you and probably give you a free lukewarm cross bun as well.

Don’t wear this shirt: because bread is supposed to be TORN not SLICED. And you pour your olive oil from the LEFT side of the bottle? Ugh. How disgusting. You plebeians don’t even understand food at ALL.

This shirt tells the world: “I am the new standard by which all things are measured. Look upon my smooth face and despair.”

We call this color: Red As The Coils Of A Toaster In Use

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 13” x 12.12”
WXL - K4: 9” x 8.39”

Pantone Colors: White – 108C – 288C – Black

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Discuss this product
Reckoning Reminder: 3/5/2010

Posted: March 5th, 2010, 7:10pm CET

There you sit, your rifle (or credit card) in hand, while our lowest-selling shirts stand quivering, blindfolded, and awaiting their fate. You can see the lineup on the Reckoning page, of course, and you might as well decide who to spare by purchasing and who to condemn by, uh, not purchasing. Nevermore slips another spot as it gets tantalizingly-close to the two year mark. Will it go the distance? Will the pressure prove too much? I guess we should probably throw it a party either way.
Think of the Children - $10.00

Posted: March 5th, 2010, 7:00am CET

We Are The Hand Across The Farm World Aid Live
1st place in Derby #136: The New Vintage, with 1,220 votes!
Twenty-eight years after The Race For A Cure For Something, those involved look back on their experiences with what became the greatest charity debacle of a generation.

“It was the eighties. There was all this… stuff going on in the world. And, well, my girlfriend had just left me for being ‘lazy’ and ‘without direction’. I thought this would be a great way to show her I could be somebody really rad. Then, I just got bored.” – Frederick Ladd, event co-organizer

“I didn’t have anything better to do, so I went down to the event in our city. There were something like five, maybe six, people that showed up. Even the band bailed. After a while, we just said ‘Screw running’ and went to go see Wrath of Khan.” – Jason Dunn, event participant

“In retrospect. we probably should’ve had more focus, I guess. Choosing an organization to raise money for was just so much work. I don’t know. It was alright.” – Katie Bernhardt, event co-organizer

“The theme song provided by Dexy’s Midnight Runners turned out to be a complete disaster. Probably should’ve gone with Huey Lewis and The News. Whatever.” – David Burnett, music coordinator

“In a way, we were kind of ahead of our time. I mean, just look at us now. Everyone in the world is apathetic! So, while it’s wasn’t necessarily our goal, something got accomplished. I guess.” – Thomas Schlereth, a guy who was never given an official title but showed up at all the meetings

Wear this shirt: and be a part of a group of people that feel really strongly about stuff.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you don’t feel like it.

This shirt tells the world: “This is the shirt / That won the derby / I bet it’d make a really awesome gift for your friend Herbie”

We call this color: Cranberry Across America

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 10.5” x 10.24”
WXL - K4: 8” x 7.8”

Pantone Colors: White – 7409C – 714C

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Discuss this product
Derby #137: Luck

Posted: March 4th, 2010, 7:00pm CET

Sure, you can get by in life on hard work and determination, but there's something even more rewarding about skating by as the universe inexplicably and arbitrarily rewards you for simply existing. After all, anyone can just try hard. You've got the fates on your side, and that makes you way more special. This week, work your shirt magic and show us luck: lucky totems, lucky people, lucky happenstance, or just conceptualize the idea of luck itself. And yeah, we're coming up on St. Patty's Day and all, but anybody can slap a clover or a leprechaun on a green shirt. We know you're better than that.

Incidental text is permitted: It's okay if someone's holding a legible horse racing form. It's not okay if your shirt just says "GET LUCKY!" in huge balloon letters.

No Mario.

No Star Wars.
Introducing Your Contenders for Derby #136: The New Vintage

Posted: March 4th, 2010, 7:00pm CET

Derby #136: The New Vintage closed for voting at noon today. Three of these designs will go on sale one at a time over the next three days - the rest will go down in near-miss history. Click on each picture below to see that entry's page, with a fuller view of the design. The final nine, in no particular order...
sliced bread by skirochesterZOMBIE DOOM SQUAD by DrakxxxThink of the Children by BootsBootsCurling Adventure! New from Smacktivision! by thatrobertEvery Legend has a begining... by Sachmoe64Holy Guacamole! by walmazanTweets are for Birds by jasnekoThe Vintage Truth by jewelwingMista Mista by riffmaster18
Come back tonight at midnight to see (and, of course, buy) our first-place winner. Then do the same thing Saturday and Sunday morning. Please? Thanks for Derbying!
Mug Shot - $10.00

Posted: March 4th, 2010, 7:00am CET

Perc Walk
No! Please! I won’t last a day in the joint!
I’m not tough enough for prison. I’m made of porcelain, for God’s sake. They’ll buy and sell me for a pack of cigarettes and then I’ll have to do whatever my new owner says. I wasn’t made to be filled with pruno! It’s unnatural!

Even worse, what if somebody shatters me to fashion the broken shards of my body into some kind of shiv? And then uses me in a breakout attempt? Not only will I be severely injured, I could be implicated in the murder of a prison guard.

If I get sent up, I’m going to have to kill someone to show everybody that I’m not some punk they can push around. I just need to look for the guy with the elevated heart rate and gastroinstestinal problems, and hope he drinks enough coffee out of me to push him over the edge.

Wear this shirt: when you get a mug shot taken. Next stop, the Smoking Gun!

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re on trial for smuggling coffee. The judge will take it as a taunt.

This shirt tells the world: “Stay alert when you’re in the dishwasher.”

We call this color: Folger’s Prison Blues.

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 9.5” x 9.48”
WXL - K4: 7” x 6.98”

Pantone Colors: White – Cool Gray 2C – 7504C – 541C – Black

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Discuss this product
Mid-Act Three Conflict - $10.00

Posted: March 3rd, 2010, 7:00am CET

Singing In The Dead Of Night
Quoth the raven, “Not so fast, Senator Valducci.”
You? You dare? You dare come here? You dare come here and confront me? You dare come here and confront me in this place? You dare come here and confront me in this place in front of my family? I thought we’d finished you.

But no matter. You’re just one bird. You can’t stop me. You can’t stop what I have planned. Which, incidentally, is a far reaching plan to take over this entire planet by using the recording industry to sue their customers so that the underground will embrace the various high-quality downloadable files I’ve made of my birdsong and play them constantly in bars, record stores and coffee shops, giving me a legal basis to claim everything as my territory under avian law. Here are some documents, in fact, proving everything I just said. I’m not scared of you seeing them because, as I said, you’re just one bird and you can’t stop me.

Okay, boys. I’m gonna get in this helicopter and go to my meeting with the recording industry. You go ahead and mow him down with your powerful machine guns which he couldn’t possibly dodge by going left, right or up. I’m sure he can’t escape, no matter how many times he’s done it before. Oh, and attach this extra long easy-to-grab cable to the bottom of my helicopter, too. No reason, I just think it looks cool.

Wear this shirt: with other people wearing this shirt. Then call the police and report a murder. Then tell them, technically, more than one crow is called a murder and grin smugly. The bruises will probably heal and a good lawyer should be able to get you some money!

Don’t wear this shirt: and think it will give you mystical Ghost Dance powers or something. It’s just a freakin’ shirt.

This shirt tells the world: “You broke the cardinal rule.”

We call this color: E-Lemon-ate Him… For Good.

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 13” x 8.92”
WXL - K4: 9” x 6.18”

Pantone Colors: White – 123C – 7510C – 5415C – 7497C – 7546C – Black

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Discuss this product
Reckoning Recon 3/2/2010

Posted: March 2nd, 2010, 7:45pm CET

Another week of Reckoning is underway, and the noobs are making their mark. What's for Dinner?, Read A Book, and Faster, Higher, Stronger, Aimier provide the infusion of fresh blood that keeps the Reckoning feeling like it's six weeks old again. (Note: unlike the KISS comic book, our t-shirts are not printed using actual blood.) Watch the shirts unfold on the Reckoning page. See what I did there?
Lizard Lift-Off - $10.00

Posted: March 2nd, 2010, 7:00am CET

Houston, this is Daikaiju. We have liftoff.
All systems nominal. Payload intact.
We are go for Operation: Drop A Giant Monster on Mars. We have locked in our Hohman Transfer Orbit and are now approximately 270 days from the Red Planet. Once there, we’ll drop this psychotic, mutated, rampaging lizard onto the planet’s surface and let him run amok.

Uh, Houston this is Daikaiju. The payload seems to be stirring. Requesting permission to administer additional sedatives.

Say again, Houston? Did not copy you there. Sounded like you said there are no sedatives on board, which would be ludicrous.

Houston, we just realized why you guys kept building this up as such a “heroic” mission. We’re not mad up here, actually. It’s pretty much on us for not realizing that strapping a space shuttle to the back of a giant lizard would be a one-way trip.

It’s really getting to be a bumpy ride up here, Houston. Sure wish you would at least acknowledge our transmissions. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been saying, “over.” Over.

Nope.

Alright Houston, this is Daikaiju again. Screw you guys. I’m turning this thing around and plowing this rocket-powered lizard monster right into your ugly faces. YEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAW!

Wear this shirt: As you rise from the irradiated depths of the South Pacific to defeat Mothra.

Don’t wear this shirt: Into space. We can’t even begin to list all the reasons why it’s a bad idea, but the big ones are exposure to solar radiation and extreme cold.

This shirt tells the world: “I have a way to get the public on board for increasing NASA’s budget.”

We call this color: Pale Baby Blue Dot

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 11” x 12.82”
WXL - K4: 8.25” x 9.62”

Pantone Colors: White – 393C – 157C – 7461C – 647C – 534C

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Discuss this product
Derby #135 (Faster, Higher, Stronger): Honorable Mentions

Posted: March 1st, 2010, 9:45pm CET

What becomes of those who aren't quite fast, high, or strong enough? The losing contestants in Derby #135: Faster, Higher, Stronger don't even get a cheesy closing ceremony. But a select few, at least, get to take their turn on the Honorable Mention podium...

Awesomer.

by edgarrmcherly

Didn't I see this guy in the freak tent at Lollapalooza?

PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT!

by walmazan

Pick up the pace. Or the carapace.

Air Defense

by thedansterwashere

The top-secret squadron that broke the back of the Luftwaffe: the Octopus Brigade!

Float On - Now with Improved Steering Power!

by jewelwing

You don't bring a balloon to a blimpfight.

Excelsior!

by rglee129

Worth an HM for the goggle-hat alone.

Fastest = Dominant v.3

by patrickspens

This must be what the biologists call an evolutionary take-off.

Gonna Make You Breakfast

by artulo

It came for the bagels, and I said nothing, because I was not a bagel...

The Abraham Lincoln Chokeslam Shirt

by bonezz322

Jefferson Davis knows how that guy feels.

OCTOPONG

by Spiritgreen

The top-secret ping-pong team that broke the back of- oh, forget it.

These shirts will compete again in our next Double-Take Derby. Meanwhile, there's always a new race being run on our Derby page.
Day of Reckoning the One Hundred and Thirty-Third

Posted: March 1st, 2010, 8:30pm CET

The Olympics are over, but that other great international competition rages on. It's A Trap! and The Binge continued their shootout for #1 last week - but a dark horse has arisen, in the form of a dark bird. Yes, Nevermore was as strong as ever on the eve of its 100th week on the chart. And which three debuts sold well enough to stick around for another week? Get the whole story with this week's Day of Reckoning. And buy the casualties while you can - at midnight, they're gone forever.
They’re Magically Delicious! - $10.00

Posted: March 1st, 2010, 7:00am CET

It’s Always The Ones You Least Expect
Unicorns: Magical horned creatures of sunshine and light. But under the sparkles and the flowing white mane, what dark secrets are they hiding?
I’ve been warning people for YEARS, I tell you. You simply can not trust something that puts on such a perfect front. Oh, sure, when the cameras are running, unicorns are just SO glorious, aren’t they? So whimsical and fancy-free. But the moment the spotlight is off, the darkness takes over.

Didn’t you hear about what happened to that herd of Pegasus? You don’t think it’s weird that a group of unicorns just happened to be in the area when it happened? No? Well, what about what happened to that nice Narwhal family? You think it’s just a coincidence they had their horns broken off when the police found them? Heh. And they call ME crazy.

And now this. Guess they just couldn’t see fit to share a rainbow or two with the leprechauns. Now do you believe me? Now do you see? They aren’t wonders at all! The unicorns are savage, feral beasts of fury who care about nothing but power, and will stop at NOTHING to stay at the top of the Mythical Creatures list.

Wear this shirt: at the end of the rainbow.

Don’t wear this shirt: into a bar on St. Patrick’s Day.

This shirt tells the world: “Never trust a big horn and a smile.”

We call this color: Unlucky Kelly Green
Orders will not ship until Tuesday March 2nd, Overnights will arrive on Wednesday March 3rd
Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 13” x 14.74”
WXL - K4: 9” x 10.2”

Pantone Colors: White – 635C – 122C – 1788C – 362C – Pantone Black 2C

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Discuss this product
They’re Magically Delicious! - $10.00

Posted: March 1st, 2010, 7:00am CET

It’s Always The Ones You Least Expect
Unicorns: Magical horned creatures of sunshine and light. But under the sparkles and the flowing white mane, what dark secrets are they hiding?
I’ve been warning people for YEARS, I tell you. You simply can not trust something that puts on such a perfect front. Oh, sure, when the cameras are running, unicorns are just SO glorious, aren’t they? So whimsical and fancy-free. But the moment the spotlight is off, the darkness takes over.

Didn’t you hear about what happened to that herd of Pegasus? You don’t think it’s weird that a group of unicorns just happened to be in the area when it happened? No? Well, what about what happened to that nice Narwhal family? You think it’s just a coincidence they had their horns broken off when the police found them? Heh. And they call ME crazy.

And now this. Guess they just couldn’t see fit to share a rainbow or two with the leprechauns. Now do you believe me? Now do you see? They aren’t wonders at all! The unicorns are savage, feral beasts of fury who care about nothing but power, and will stop at NOTHING to stay at the top of the Mythical Creatures list.

Wear this shirt: at the end of the rainbow.

Don’t wear this shirt: into a bar on St. Patrick’s Day.

This shirt tells the world: “Never trust a big horn and a smile.”

We call this color: Unlucky Kelly Green
Orders will not ship until Tuesday March 2nd, Overnights will arrive on Wednesday March 3rd
Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 13” x 14.74”
WXL - K4: 9” x 10.2”

Pantone Colors: White – 635C – 122C – 1788C – 362C – Pantone Black 2C

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Discuss this product
Price: $10.00I want one!